


Standing in Place

by MissRaichyl



Series: Ponder [2]
Category: Nikita (TV 2010)
Genre: Breakup, F/M, Family, Heartache, Leaving, London, Love, Reunion, Sad, friends - Freeform, gaurdian, gaurdians - Freeform, s02e10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 18:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3738865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissRaichyl/pseuds/MissRaichyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know that the right thing isn't always easiest or the best for everyone, but you know it's what you have to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Standing in Place

**Author's Note:**

> based off of 2.10 Gaurdians

You know that moment? When the world feels like it's slipping and spinning out of control? When you can't catch your breath and you feel as if these moments will be your last? You lay there trapped and you think you are going to die. That thought that races through your head as you can't get your bound hands free and you have that last thought that it's over, this is the end.

Then a miracle happens and you see that bright light in the form of a silver car and you don't know who is in it or what is happening but you see the advancing men go down and you start to fight again, twisting and bending in ways only a very flexible person can. Then you notice the others, coming towards you and they halt.

Shots are firing and you realize that the end of the road had broken and so instead of trying to break the ties, you start sliding to the left. Your mind is in frenzy because you know if you don't get free, you will die. And the history you've been trying to re-write, the life you have been striving for, your want of your breath of freedom—it will all be gone as your soul drifts from your body and leaves your dead, cold, grey body in the dirt with the blood spilling from your chest where the bullet from the enemy gun killed you instantly.

So you slither across the ground as the men go down and you're free. You feel relief—but it's only a second's relief as bullets come flying from every direction and you get to your feet, feeling the earth beneath you and you reach for the nearest gun, the wrist ties cutting off circulation and making wielding of the gun harder than it has been in the past. You shoot the closest man that points a gun your way and shoot to kill.

You realize he is the last, gratefully. You start walking toward the men coming your way. All you see is the man that had begun this mission with you and you are happy to see he isn't dead but as they get closer, you notice the other and your voice is caught because you are caught off guard. You don't have any clue as to how he is here or even why when his family is back in England but he is here and you can't take your eyes off of him and your partner makes himself scarce.

You don't know if he still has feelings for you because you can't read minds, but you do know that your heart has pick up speed times fifty. Your hands are sweating and you can't think straight, not even when you are forced to tear your gaze from the man who has your heart to find out that the guardian is gone.

 

When you get back to the safe house—Owens's place, after awhile, you and your ex, that you still love with every fiber of your being, who you thought wasn't ever coming back, go to the corner of the kitchen and talk in hushed tones that made everything awkward and you can't help but know it. It was strained and hard, you want to run because the awkwardness was so painful, but you deal. You inquire after his family, he inquires after yours, which is really only Nerd and you notice he said "He'll be annoying the hell out of you in no time."

He didn't say it in the way that included two parties, he didn't say us or we, he and I or me and him. You. He wasn't coming back to stay, only to show and leave and crush your heart that is breaking into such fine pieces that when they try to put it back together, the pieces will be so tiny that you can't see what's right in front of you. It's not like it was once, so easy and smart talk with giggles and kisses.

Then he asks the most basic, personal question in the world and it makes you want to respond to it the way you responded to your partner when he asked only a short time ago but you know if you do, he'll leave so much faster and so you bite your tongue to protect him. You give him as much as you can, as your eyes flashes up to meet his before flashing down and up again as you say you're glad to see him. You know Owen is listening and you know he knows how you truly feel and you know he thinks it's wrong that you don't tell him the truth but you can't because you have business to attend so you can be done with all of this.

You let him hug you because if this is all you get, you'll take it. You want stay like this forever but then your new partner interrupts you and you turn around and you want to glare at him but you listen and silently laugh at his words, before telling him that it is unimportant and then it's all seriousness because you learn more about the boss's paranoia.

You and your love are on the same side as always, just with a new number and another set of opinions so you have to formulate a plan that will agree to each and as you make plans you notice that always fatal flaw that is always there: There aren't enough.

You make a last minute change and as predicted they don't like it. Owen needs more then himself where as you only need yourself, you started alone and it is enough to be alone. It has to be because at the end of the day you walked away and isolated yourself. You start to walk away to prepare yourself and he stops you. He tells you that he just got there, that he can't leave you and that leaves a thought in the back of your mind that makes you wonder if he feels he has to be here or if he still loves you as much as you love him that he doesn't want you leaving his sight.

Then he tells you what you dread to hear and Owen hammers in the final nail, making you shoot him a wondering glare and Michael shoots his what the fuck glare. He tells you things and you can feel the caring need radiating off him, the love and protectiveness coming to his eyes and you don't know if you've been blind to it and it was there all along or that it was just coming back to him as well.

You tell him what you now know, that this is the right thing and you look at Owen, because he showed you back to the light you had somehow gotten so far from and then back at Michael and you know that you'll come back to him and he'll be there in the end.

 

A little while later you separate and two go one way while another goes off alone, which is the best way you know how because that's the best way you've always operated and you know that hasn't changed.

You don't know what is coming, you don't know what you'll find in the end, but you hope that it's worth it because it's all you have to hold on to.


End file.
